I've been feeling old lately....

It's nothing anybody has said. It's just me. I look in the mirror and wonder who that middle-aged, frumpy lady is looking back. It doesn't help that I've put on a few pounds, or that I'm beginning to need glasses for reading, or that I've got a few greys popping up, or that I feel achey getting out of bed in the morning and can't keep up the pace on our family outings, or that I can't manage to pour myself into the cute stretch knits of today, or that my pretty hands are getting wrinkly and dotted with age spots.

Ok, and having someone at the hospital think that I was my sister's mother--the baby's grandmother! Or that people constantly think that my mom and I are sisters. (We do have a VERY strong resemblance and her makes her feel great!) Doesn't really help!

Luckily, my kids constatly shower me with love and compliments. And my sweetheart is as tender and dear as ever. It's just me. I guess I need to come to terms with age. It's all apart of life, anyway. My kids are getting older, so I guess I have to look the part of their mother. My biggest motivation for wanting to look young and beautiful is for my handsome honey---I always want to look good by his side. He thinks I do. Maybe that is all that matters!

My baby, a teenager?

Today is Jack's thirteenth birthday. He is officially a teenager. Where has the time flown?

Twelve has been eventful---Growing a foot-proudly passing up Mom, Elizabeth, now Abby, first shaves, voice changing (he's a tenor in Chante (choir), eyebrows and hair thickening, eats everything in sight, gangly, awkward, goofy, boney, bright, inquisitive, thoughtful. He still loves to set up a good battle on the living room floor, but prefers The Battle for Middle-Earth computer game. He's gone from reading Harry Potter to Killer Angels (Gettysburg), Lord of the Rings, and Dune--all at the same time! One minute he's laughing and joking with Abby, the next minute they're driving each other crazy!

People ask me why twelve can be tough. Let me illustrate with a typical situation. The other night, Jack took a really quick shower. Great. When asked if he had washed his hair or soaped up his body, he got this goofy grin on his face. Back in the shower he went! Come on, what's so difficult about deoderant, or hanging up towels, or putting the milk away. At twelve, the difference is: he knows better, but he plays dumb......really well!

I'm so proud of Jack. My little boy's growing up. Sometimes just not fast enough!

I think I can finally say--"Welcome Fall"

For someone who's experienced a lot of change in her life, I really have difficulty with changing seasons. I've so enjoyed the beautiful summer weather and I haven't been willing to let it go. Every day I don't have to wear a coat or jacket, I take note. But little by little, the crispness in the air is getting to me. Luckily, this September in Montreal has been mild and BEAUTIFUL. The sky is clear and the sun has shone as the temperatures have gracefully gone down each day. I have really appreciated this slow letdown. We will have our first frost soon and I think I'll be ready--not thrilled, but accepting. That will mean an overnight death to the flowers that brighten the sidewalks, particularly at dusk when the light is just so.

After the long and challenging weather we endured last winter, I carefully followed the progress of green that appeared in the city. First were the blue bells in the lawns just after the final snow melt. Then, the daffodills and colorful tulips--everywhere! Next were the pungent lilac bushes and my favorite lilly of the valley. (I forced my kids to kneel on the sidewalk just to get a whiff! YUM!) Montreal has many wild rose bushes that are also very fragrant. I noticed many of them on the McGill campus and at the Temple grounds. Next, the perennials shot up. Then, people planted annuals everywhere. I hardly saw a sprinkler the whole summer, but everthing stays so green in this moist climate. The late-summer black-eyed susans were spectacular. Now that we've headed into fall, the old buildings look so attractive with their vine cloaks. There are several shrubs that have autumn berries in full color. The leaves are just barely changing color. But soon, everything will die and the bright colors of fall will be gone. I think it's time.

And soon the snow will fly.....I'm definitely not ready for that!

Real Power

I recognized a great truth recently.....

Our testimony meeting at Girls Camp was yet another strong reminder of the common insecurities that most people, young and old, feel in their lives. Even the July New Era had an article about a young man with similar overwelming loneliness and insecurity. Many members of our ward struggle with these same feelings. In the article, the answer to his feelings of inadequacy came from something Ben's MTC missionaries have realized and put into practice. PERSONAL spiritual habits like prayer and scripture reading can bring answers, strength and power. Ben shared with us about how several of the missionaries had testified of overwelming witness and change of heart that came through personal spiritual wrestling.


When I visited my dear Stake Young Women friends in Park City, I was amazed at the power and energy I felt when I was with them. I felt the same power in our Jeremy Ranch ward. It was real power--strength in righteousness, strength in the Spirit, power in the priesthood. I was overcome with love and power.


When I am in Montreal, I feel great love among our members, but I don't feel that intense spiritual power. I think what is missing is that personal strength and power from personal spiritual habits--prayer, scripture study, temple attendance--really personalizing the gospel. The members are seeking answers from others, from the Bishop, from the leaders. They overlook the personal responsibility that comes with spiritual growth.

At Family Home Evening, I challenged our family to keep up with the basics of family and personal strength so that our faith and testimonies have power to withstand the struggles we will face.

Girls Camp with my girl!

I just got back from Girls Camp. It was just me and Abby from our ward. What a treat to spend that time with her. She is amazing to watch---being all alone and new to the stake. She has a special gift for making friends. Abby won "Smiley Face Camper" and it fits. She bore the sweetest, strongest testimony. She is just a natural, low-key leader who everyone loves, particularly the adult leaders. I'm so glad she wanted me to come with her to Camp.

I quite enjoyed not having any huge responsibility. I pitched in, but got to relax. I even lead the 4th year girls on a moonlit canoe adventure. The program was quite laid back, but is laced with such tradition that it flowed beautifully. Everyone certified without pulling teeth. They sang lots of fun songs at the campfire--how I remember camp when I was a girl. The testimonies were simple and poignant--how alone these young women feel in the world. Abby and I realized that insecurity can be expressed by being timid or haughty and that we need to see through it and love them regardless.

The setting of the camp was breathtaking. Our camp set on the edge of a wooded lake in a national park. We hiked into some beautiful "cascades"--waterfalls that we could wade in (VERY COLD). The misquitos were most annoying, but the company was great. I enjoy the women as much as getting to know the girls. I was awarded "Best Conversationalist." Can you believe that?

All showered and unpacked, I get a bit of rest until the "men" come back from their camp.

Thanks for the marvelous blessing of clear skies and sunshine!

TIME

Why is it, when you've got tons to do, the time just flies by? it just runs out? How come some hours feel longer than others? How come some days will never end?

Just wondering....

today was spent getting ready for girls camp and boys camp--craig and I get to be the drivers, cooks and chaperones. the best part is doing it with our kids. we'll have a blast--once we get there. let's hope it doesn't rain....too much. After all, it is Montreal.

Celebrating the 4th of July in a foreign land

It's strange to be celebrating the 4th of July in a foreign land, all be it, 40 minutes from the US border. There is no red, white and blue in sight--no buntings, no flag t-shirts and baseball caps, no American flags flying high. It just feels different.

Our family is trying to keep the spirit of the day. We went for a bike ride and then enjoyed shishkabobs, watermelon, corn on the cob and s'mores while listening to our favorite Boston Pops and Aaron Copeland CDs. We're hoping to see fireworks later. It just feels different.

The locals who don't agree on the many virtues of our nation, all agree that Americans are very patriotic. Good for us.

We are loving this international experience in Montreal, but we are Americans first.

Happy Independence Day! Light a sparkler for me....